drop

She doesn't deserve you, but I think you know that. You should try saying it to yourself outloud, I hear that's one of the best forms of self-actualization. I know she makes you happy, but she also broke your heart, only she didn't just break it, she ripped it to shreds.

You were doing so well, dear. You were having fun and doing things you'd never done before, and you were letting go of your various fears and inhibitions. I just hope that you don't lose all of your progress if you choose to go through with this, and I hope that if she hurts you again, you have the strength to cut your losses and move on. Don't compromise yourself for her, even though you love her, because in the end, your happiness and well-being is all that matters.

You're a gift. You're beautiful. You're the sweetest person alive, and you've got the voice of an angel. You make me feel completely vulnerable in all the best ways with your smile alone, and I hate her for making you feel helpless and cheap, but if you're willing to try to forgive her then I suppose I could try to do the same. If you can, then I could at least try, because you're my friend above all else.

I guess I've got no choice but to let you go, even though these feelings are deep and unavoidable. Best of luck, you precious, precious human being. I hope you know what you're doing.

Love,

Nyk

Fuckin' Ficus...

Let it be known, that I love life a little more than I did last week.

I still want White Castle, but that ain't happening.

Codeine has made it impossible for me to operate heavy machinery, and spelling is a bitch.

Last night I went to a frat party.

There were only five of us, and none of use were in a fraternity, but damnit if we didn't trash the place.

End Transmission.

a public service announcement

IT'S RAININ' MEN!

HALLELUJAH!

Currently Make Yourself By Incubus Make Yourself see related

Dojo Kun/Keep Me In Check

I WANT TO GO HOME !

I WANT TO GO HOME!

I WANT TO GO HOME!

I WANT TO GO FUCKING HOME!

I MISS MY DOJO!

I MISS FEELING LIKE I WAS WORTH SOMETHING!

I MISS THE CONFIDENCE THAT CAME FROM TYING MY BELT,

OPENING THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR,

STEPPING ONTO THE FLOOR WITH MY BARE FEET,

AND RECITING THE DOJO KUN.

I MISS WORKING FOR A CAUSE GREATER THAN PROMOTION,

GREATER THAN VANITY,

GREATER THAN DOMINATION.

I MISS BEING HARDER, BETTER, FASTER, STRONGER

THAN PEOPLE TWICE MY SIZE,

BUT NEVER FEELING LIKE I HAD TO PROVE IT.

THE KNOWLEDGE THAT CAME WITH THE FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE

WAS ENOUGH FOR ME.

I MISS SITTING ON THE HEALTHIER SIDE

OF THE LINE THAT DIVIDES HUMILITY AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

I MISS THE SANITY THAT CAME FROM EACH MEDITATION SESSION.

I MISS THE SORENESS IN MY MUSCLES

THAT WOULD LAST FOR DAYS AFTER EACH TESTING CYCLE.

I MISS THE SATISFACTION THAT I FELT WHEN I KNEW I HAD ADVANCED.

I MISS THE SENSE OF COMMUNITY THAT I FELT

EVEN AS I WAS SPARRING WITH PEOPLE OF MUCH HIGHER RANK THAN MYSELF.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THE WAY KARATE BROUGHT MY WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER,

AND THE WAY THE DOJO BECAME OUR NEW HOME.

ONLY WITH KARATE CAN I UNLOCK THE TRUE POTENTIAL OF MY BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT.

KARATE IS TRUTH.

KARATE IS BETTER THAN ANY RELIGION COULD EVER PRAY TO BE.

Currently Listening Gogol Bordello /Gypsy Punks Underdog World Strike By Gogol Bordello Think Locally, Fuck Globally see related

Think Locally, Fuck Consciously

A girl in my Reflective Woman class told me today, that she doesn't think of me as a woman in the least bit.

I smiled a lot broader than I should've.

The name on my birth certificate does not provide a completely accurate representation of who I am.

I am Nyk.

I am not white.

I am an angry Jew.

I am a German with a high tolerance for alcohol.

I'm Irish (so don't fuck with the family if you know what's good for you).

I'm Polish, which means that everytime someone hears about it, they make a reference to Avenue Q.

("Those stupid Polacks!")

I've also got the heart and the soul of a Latino man, so you KNOW I mean it when I say "I love you," and you know to KNOW to run when I say "I'm going to fucking kill you!"

More likely than not, I am also a little bi-polar, but it works for me... most days.

I would love to stay and chat, but I've got a fish in the oven.